Today my father made wings out of feathers and wax so that we could escape the king’s castle. But I flew too close to the sun and the wings melted. I then fell into the ocean below. I can’t swim. FML
Today I came up with a plan that helped my country win a 10-year war. But, because I forgot to pray to Poseidon, I won’t get to go home for another 10 years. FML
I’ve been really busy. I solved the riddle of the Sphinx, gained entrance to the city of Thebes, killed the king and took his place, and then married his wife and had several kids. As it turns out, the guy that I killed to become king was my dad. And the chick that I married and had kids with was my mother. FML
These are fucking hilarious.